It seems that we’re planning things all the time…from small things like what to make for dinner and what to do over the weekend, to larger things like vacations, career moves, weddings, retirement funds, and buying a home. One area, though, that women may forget to include in their plans is children. Young women in particular may think that decisions about having children and family size come later in life. Unfortunately, without planning, about half of all women who become pregnant in the U.S. each year, do so unexpectedly. This includes young women who are not married as well as older women who are married and may already have a few children.
So, if you agree that making plans for your future family is important, how do you get started? To begin, you can ask yourself these questions:
- Do I want to have children someday?
- If no or not sure, what are my plans for making sure I do not become pregnant?
- If yes, how many would I like to have?
- How old do I want to be when I become a mother?
- How many years do I want to have in between children?
It is important to consider things other than pregnancy or children in your reproductive life plan, too. Ask yourself:
- Where do I see myself in the next five years?
- Do I want to be in a committed relationship?
- How much education do I want?
- What kind of job would I like to have?
- Do I plan to be a stay-at-home parent?
Be honest with your answers—maybe even write them down in your journal. For more information about specific health topics based on your answers, click on the list below that fits where you are now.
Remember, your plans may change. But if you have a plan now, then you are more likely to be in the driver’s seat for this very important part of your life.
Not Now
Do you have other things on your “to do” list than having a baby? If yes, there are some things you must do now to make sure “baby” does not show up on your list unexpectedly.
The first thing is to talk with your health care provider about a birth control method that is right for you. Be honest in your conversation with your health care provider. Ask LOTS of questions. Make sure you know how to use the method and what to do if you think you may have made an error. Click here to find great links to get you started.
Remember to protect yourself. Many birth control methods do not protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). So if you have multiple partners or are not in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms every time you have sex. STIs, if untreated, can not only make you sick, but they might interfere with your future dreams of having a family.
Take a multivitamin every day. Women are busy and may not always make the time to eat as healthy as they should. Taking a multivitamin every day is one quick and inexpensive way you can take care of yourself.
Make sure that you keep eating smart and moving more. Stay up to date on your vaccinations and health screenings. The healthier you are, the more likely you are able to achieve your dreams in life. For more information on health topics related to your age-group, visit the Women’s Health at Any Age section of this website.
Maybe Someday
So you’re thinking about having a baby someday. Your body has been ready to have a baby for a while, but now you are warming up to the idea, too. While the prospect of parenthood can be thrilling, it can also be a little scary.
See below to see the major guidelines to follow when planning a pregnancy:
Talk to Your Partner to Find out if You Both are Ready to Have a Baby
Ask yourselves:
- Are we ready to be parents?
- How will having a baby change our lives, our jobs and our relationship?
- How will we pay for prenatal care and delivery?
- Who will take care of the baby?
- Do we have enough money to pay for child care, diapers, clothes and all the other things a baby will need?
- What help will we need and who can help us?
Your answers to these questions can help you decide if you’re ready to have a baby. Use birth control until you’re sure you’re ready.
Get into Healthy Habits Today
Being healthy can help keep your baby from being born too small, too soon or with birth defects. Also, you can be pregnant for a few weeks and not even know it. That’s why it’s so important to get into healthy habits for life. Here are some tips:
- Eat smart. Choose healthy foods like whole-grain breads, cereal, rice and pasta; cheese and yogurt; low-fat meat and chicken; and lots of fruits and vegetables.
- Drink a lot of fluids such as low-fat milk, water and juice every day.
- Prepare meat, chicken and seafood properly. Make sure you follow directions when cooking them.
- Move more. Check with your health care provider to learn how much and which kinds of exercise are best for you.
- Don’t drink alcohol, smoke or use street drugs. These can harm a baby growing inside you. Stopping bad health habits can be very hard to do. But you will never have a better reason to quit! So try to stop. If you’re having trouble quitting, get help—and keep trying.
- Protect yourself from AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Only have sex with one person who doesn’t have any other sex partners or use a condom when having sex.
- Stay away from chemicals that can hurt an unborn baby. Examples of chemicals at home include: paint, paint thinner, insect and weed killers, and cat litter. Examples of chemicals at work include: lead that is used to make paint, cable or plastics; liquids with strong smells; and radiation from X-rays or other sources if you work in medicine, dentistry, mining, electronics or in a power plant.
Take folic acid!
Folic acid is a special vitamin that can help prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal cord. The health problems caused by these defects can be severe and, in some cases, even fatal.
It’s essential that you get all the folic acid you need every day. One way is to take a multivitamin. Check the label to make sure it contains 100% of the recommended daily amount of folic acid. You can also, eat foods that contain folic acid such as:
- Orange juice, peanuts, green vegetables, beans and peas
- Breakfast cereals that say “fortified” on the box
- Rice and whole-wheat bread that say “enriched” on the label
It is important to have enough folic acid in your body before you get pregnant and in the first few weeks of pregnancy. So take it today—and every day.
Get a checkup before you get pregnant
Visit your health care provider for a check up to make sure you are in good health.
- Be sure you have all your shots for illnesses like rubella (German measles) and chickenpox. If you get these illnesses while you are pregnant, they can lead to birth defects in your baby.
- Talk to your provider about any recurring health problems in your family. If they are hereditary, they could be passed on to your baby.
- Tell your provider about any medicines you are currently taking. Certain medicines can adversely affect babies while they are still in the womb.
- Get treated for problems like diabetes and high blood pressure. They could pose a potential threat to your baby or get worse during your pregnancy.
- Get tested for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Left untreated, STIs can endanger your baby’s health as well as your own.
- Get help for depression. Talk to someone you trust such as your provider, partner, family member or good friend about how to get help.
- If your partner hits you, yells at you or abuses you in any way, get help now. Don’t wait until you are pregnant. Talk to your provider, a member of the clergy, a family member or a good friend about how to get help.
Ready Now
So you’re ready to start a very exciting journey. Congratulations! Now it is more important than ever to focus on your own health and wellness. Here are some things that you need to start to do now (before you are pregnant). Why now? A baby’s organs begin to form in the first four weeks of pregnancy, before many women even know they are pregnant. So it is important that women are healthy before they become pregnant.
See below to read about some things you can do to get ready:
Get into Healthy Habits Today
Being healthy can help keep your baby from being born too small, too soon or with birth defects. Also, you can be pregnant for a few weeks and not even know it. That’s why it’s so important to get into healthy habits for life. Here are some tips:
- Eat smart. Choose healthy foods like whole-grain breads, cereal, rice and pasta; cheese and yogurt; low-fat meat and chicken; and lots of fruits and vegetables.
- Drink a lot of fluids such as low-fat milk, water and juice every day.
- Prepare meat, chicken and seafood properly. Make sure you follow directions when cooking them.
- Move more. Check with your health care provider to learn how much and which kinds of exercise are best for you.
- Don’t drink alcohol, smoke or use street drugs. These can harm a baby growing inside you. Stopping bad health habits can be very hard to do. But you will never have a better reason to quit! So try to stop. If you’re having trouble quitting, get help—and keep trying.
- Protect yourself from AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Only have sex with one person who doesn’t have any other sex partners or use a condom when having sex.
- Stay away from chemicals that can hurt an unborn baby. Examples of chemicals at home include: paint, paint thinner, insect and weed killers, and cat litter. Examples of chemicals at work include: lead that is used to make paint, cable or plastics; liquids with strong smells; and radiation from X-rays or other sources if you work in medicine, dentistry, mining, electronics or in a power plant.
- Take a multivitamin with 400 micrograms of folic acid every day. Folic acid is a special vitamin that can help prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal cord. The health problems caused by these defects can be severe and, in some cases, even fatal. It’s essential that you get all the folic acid you need every day.
Get a Checkup Before You get Pregnant
Visit your health care provider for a check up to make sure you are in good health.
- Be sure you have all your shots for illnesses like rubella (German measles) and chickenpox. If you get these illnesses while you are pregnant, they can lead to birth defects in your baby.
- Talk to your provider about any recurring health problems in your family. If they are hereditary, they could be passed on to your baby.
- Tell your provider about any medicines you are currently taking. Certain medicines can adversely affect babies while they are still in the womb.
- Get treated for problems like diabetes and high blood pressure. They could pose a potential threat to your baby or get worse during your pregnancy.
- Get tested for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Left untreated, STIs can endanger your baby’s health as well as your own.
- Get help for depression. Talk to someone you trust such as your provider, partner, family member or good friend about how to get help.
- If your partner hits you, yells at you or abuses you in any way, get help now. Don’t wait until you are pregnant. Talk to your provider, a member of the clergy, a family member or a good friend about how to get help.
Ready Again
Thinking about bringing another little one into this world? Now that you know what it’s like to have a child/children already, you might feel a little more prepared for additional babies. However, it is still important to plan each pregnancy before you get pregnant. Getting pregnant too soon after giving birth can be risky. Use a birth control method until you are sure you are ready to start trying again.
If you or your baby had complications during a previous pregnancy or delivery, it is especially important for you to take care of your health now and reduce the risk to you and your future babies.
Click on the headings below to find out some important things before getting pregnant again:
How long should you wait before getting pregnant again?
For most women, it’s best to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. This gives your body enough time to hear between pregnancies. Also, giving yourself this time may help you feel less worried about your next pregnancy.
Not all women can wait this long because of their age or other reasons. Talk to your health care provider about what’s right for you.
Do you have a medical problem that might affect your next pregnancy?
Some medical conditions can cause problems during pregnancy. Get a preconception health checkup before you try to get pregnant again. Talk to your health care provider about:
- Your pregnancy history: Tell your provider about any problems that you’ve had in other pregnancies. There are many things that you and your provider can do to prevent more problems. Your provider may suggest that you meet with a genetic counselor. This person has special training about birth defects and other medical problems that run in families.
- Your family history: Tell your provider about any medical problems that run in your family. Some of these problems could affect a pregnancy.
- Health problems you have life diabetes or high blood pressure: These can cause problems for your and your baby during pregnancy. Ask your provider about treatments.
- Medicines you take: Your provider can tell you which medicines are safe to take during pregnancy. If you take medicines that aren’t safe, he/she may change you medicines that are safer for pregnancy. Tell him/her about any medication you take, including prescription medicine, over the counter medicine (OTC), things made from herbs and anything labeled a “nutritional supplement.”
What can you do before you get pregnant to help you have a healthy pregnancy?
- Eat smart. Choose healthy foods like whole-grain breads, cereal, rice and pasta; cheese and yogurt; low-fat meat and chicken; and lots of fruits and vegetables.
- Drink a lot of fluids such as low-fat milk, water and juice every day.
- Prepare meat, chicken and seafood properly. Make sure you follow directions when cooking them.
- Move more. Check with your health care provider to learn how much and which kinds of exercise are best for you.
- Don’t drink alcohol, smoke or use street drugs. These can harm a baby growing inside you. Stopping bad health habits can be very hard to do. But you will never have a better reason to quit! So try to stop. If you’re having trouble quitting, get help—and keep trying.
- Protect yourself from AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Only have sex with one person who doesn’t have any other sex partners or use a condom when having sex.
- Stay away from chemicals that can hurt an unborn baby. Examples of chemicals at home include: paint, paint thinner, insect and weed killers, and cat litter. Examples of chemicals at work include: lead that is used to make paint, cable or plastics; liquids with strong smells; and radiation from X-rays or other sources if you work in medicine, dentistry, mining, electronics or in a power plant.
- Take a multivitamin with 400 micrograms of folic acid every day. Folic acid is a special vitamin that can help prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal cord. The health problems caused by these defects can be severe and, in some cases, even fatal. It’s essential that you get all the folic acid you need every day.
I Just Had One
Congratulations! You have just been through an amazing journey. We bet that you are also a little bit tired and focused on fitting your new baby into your life.
We have found that new mothers’ needs often fall to second, third or even lower place on the family totem pole once a new baby comes along. But YOUR health is very important for the whole family.
Click on the headings below to read some important tips for you as you get through this stage of motherhood:
Getting Rest
The first few days at home after having your baby are a time for rest and recovery—physically and emotionally. You need to focus your energy on yourself and on getting to know your new baby. Even though you may be very excited and have requests for lots of visits from family and friends, try to limit visitors and get as much rest as possible. Don’t expect to keep your house perfect. You may find that all you can do is eat, sleep, and care for your baby. And that is perfectly okay. Learn to pace yourself from the first day that you arrive back home. Try to lie down or nap while the baby naps. Don’t try to do too much around the house. Allow others to help you and don’t be afraid to ask for help with cleaning, laundry, meals, or with caring for the baby.
Physical Changes
After the birth of your baby, your health care provider will talk with you about things you will experience as your body starts to recover.
- You will have vaginal discharge called lochia (LOH-kee-uh). It is the tissue and blood that lined your uterus during pregnancy. It is heavy and bright red at first, becoming lighter in flow and color until it goes aware after a few weeks.
- You might also have swelling in your legs and feet. You can reduce swelling by keeping your feet elevated when possible.
- You might feel constipated. Try to drink plenty of water and eat fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Menstrual-like cramping is common, especially if you are breastfeeding. Your breast milk will come in within three to six days after your delivery. Even if you are not breastfeeding, you can have milk leaking from your nipples, and your breasts might feel full, tender, or uncomfortable.
- Follow your health care provider’s instructions on how much activity, like climbing stairs or walking, you can do for the next few weeks.
Your health care provider will check your recovery at your postpartum visit, about six weeks after birth. Ask about resuming normal activities, as well as eating and fitness plans to help you return to a healthy weight. Also ask your health care provider about having sex and birth control. Your period could return in six to eight weeks, or sooner if you do not breastfeed. If you breastfeed, your period might not resume for many months. Still, using reliable birth control is the best way to prevent pregnancy until you want to have another baby.
Some women develop thyroid problems in the first year after giving birth. This is called postpartum thyroiditis (theye-royd-EYET-uhss). It often begins with overactive thyroid, which lasts two to four months. Most women then develop symptoms of an underactive thyroid, which can last up to a year. Thyroid problems are easy to overlook as many symptoms, such as fatigue, sleep problems, low energy, and changes in weight, are common after having a baby. Talk to your health care provider if you have symptoms that do not go away. An underactive thyroid needs to be treated. In most cases, thyroid function returns to normal as the thyroid heals. But some women develop permanent underactive thyroid disease, called Hashimoto’s disease, and need lifelong treatment.
Regaining a Healthy Weight and Shape
Both pregnancy and labor can affect a woman’s body. After giving birth you will lose about 10 pounds right away and a little more as body fluid levels decrease. Don’t expect or try to lose additional pregnancy weight right away. Gradual weight loss over several months is the safest way, especially if you are breastfeeding. Nursing mothers can safely lose a moderate amount of weight without affecting their milk supply or their babies’ growth.
A healthy eating plan along with regular physical fitness might be all you need to return to a healthy weight. If you are not losing weight or losing weight too slowly, cut back on foods with added sugars and fats, like soft drinks, desserts, fried foods, fatty meats, and alcohol. Keep in mind, nursing mothers should avoid alcohol. By cutting back on “extras,” you can focus on healthy, well-balanced food choices that will keep your energy level up and help you get the nutrients you and your baby need for good health. Make sure to talk to your health care provider before you start any type of diet or exercise plan.
Feeling Blue
After childbirth you may feel sad, weepy, and overwhelmed for a few days. Many new mothers have the “baby blues” after giving birth. Changing hormones, anxiety about caring for the baby, and lack of sleep all affect your emotions.
Be patient with yourself. These feelings are normal and usually go away quickly. But if sadness lasts more than two weeks, go see your health care provider. Don’t wait until your postpartum visit to do so. You might have a serious but treatable condition called postpartum depression. Postpartum depression can happen any time within the first year after birth.
Signs of postpartum depression include:
- Feeling restless or irritable
- Feeling sad, depressed, or crying a lot
- Having no energy
- Having headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations (the heart being fast and feeling like it is skipping beats), numbness, or hyperventilation (fast and shallow breathing)
- Not being able to sleep, being very tired, or both
- Not being able to eat and weight loss
- Overeating and weight gain
- Trouble focusing, remembering, or making decisions
- Being overly worried about the baby
- Not having any interest in the baby
- Feeling worthless and guilty
- Having no interest or getting no pleasure from activities like sex and socializing
- Thoughts of harming your baby or yourself
Some women don’t tell anyone about their symptoms because they feel embarrassed or guilty about having these feelings at a time when they think they should be happy. Don’t let this happen to you! Postpartum depression can make it hard to take care of your baby. Infants with mothers with postpartum depression can have delays in learning how to talk. They can have problems with emotional bonding. Your provider can help you feel better and get back to enjoying your new baby. Therapy and/or medicine can treat postpartum depression. Get more details on postpartum depression in the “Depression during and after pregnancy” fact sheet.
All Done
Your arms are full, your life is busy, and you have completed your plan for the number of children you want in your life. Congratulations!
It is important to take time in the middle of your very busy life, to talk with your health care provider about the birth control method that is right for you now. You may want to consider permanent methods of birth control for you or your partners or a long-acting contraceptive method. Remember that permanent and long-acting contraceptive methods do not protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). So if you have multiple partners or are not in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms every time you have sex.
Take a multivitamin every day. Women are busy and may not always make the time to eat as healthy as they should. Taking a multivitamin every day is one quick and inexpensive way you can take care of yourself.
Make sure that you keep exercising and stress management in your daily planner. Stay up to date on your vaccinations and health screenings. Your family needs YOU to stay healthy. Check out the “Healthy at any age” section of this site for good information about wellness for women.